Introduction

Are you just starting the journey to parenthood? Are you excited? Happy? Nervous? Content? Concerned? In need of help? Perhaps you have been a parent for some time and find yourself facing new or increased difficulties? Parenting can be one of the most thrilling, rewarding experiences of life, yet present you with some of the greatest challenges you will ever face.

Parents are by nature idealists, hoping for the best for their child. They want to do more for their child and give more than they themselves have had. Each desires to be someone their child needs, loves, admires, respects, and perhaps even wants to be like. Part of the joy of parenting comes from exploring and rediscovering life with your child. A child's energy, excitement, enthusiasm, need, and dependency helps to move and motivate us.

Too often though, the dreams of parents begin to fade under the harsh light of the cares of this life, personal and financial problems, marriage difficulties, work demands, discouragement, and the like. Especially during such times parents need to use the keys that will open the doors of hope, peace, joy, fresh inspiration, determination, patience, and especially love—a flow of love in such abundance that it transforms their lives and the lives of their children.

But where and how can one find such keys? Is there really some way that we can exceed our abilities and be lifted above our shortcomings and failings? The simple answer is yes, and all you need to be is you. You don't need to be someone special, gifted, or perfect to experience this in your life. Perfect people, even if they existed, would probably not make very good parents anyway. You see, part of the secret of parenting comes through realizing your weakness. The Bible tells us that it is through our weakness that the power of God is perfected (2 Corinthians 12:9). As we hope you will discover, some of the most powerful keys to parenting cannot be obtained from books on parenting or childcare. No, the real power you need, the strength, wisdom, inspiration and answers can only come from God Himself.

Practical tips, techniques, and helpful information on how to raise children are needed, but in themselves they cannot turn you into a great parent. That spark comes from a Greater Source, from our own Eternal loving Parent, and it is free for the asking. God has put Himself at our service. He wants to help us, and He wants to help our children. He wants us to raise and enjoy wonderful children, and for us to grow in love and happiness together.

God wants to be in a parenting partnership with you. You may not think you are the best parent in the world, but you are the one God chose for your child, and with God's help you can be the best parent in the whole world for him or her. With God as your parenting partner, not only will your parenting abilities improve, but He will more than make up for anything you lack.

Seven Steps to Secure the Power for Parenting

Do you know how to plug into the power and understanding that God has for you? Try these seven steps for guaranteed results! If you have already taken some of these steps in your life, focus on the ones that you haven't yet taken, or those that you feel you have but could improve in.

Step One: Connect with the One Who Has the Answers

Our human resources sometimes hardly seem sufficient to attend to our own needs and problems, let alone take care of others, yet serving others is a daily reality for parents. Parents are on call day and night. Children need you for nearly everything. You are the one they run to for help, love, sympathy, protection, care, and comfort. You are their provider. But it may not take you long to realize that you also need a Provider and Comforter to run to, Someone you can go to anytime, anyplace, under any circumstance to find help and comfort. If you have not received Jesus as your parenting partner yet, do so now.

God sent us His Son Jesus to be an ever-present help. When you open your life to Jesus, you plug into God and God's power; you gain access to the very Source of all life, light, and supernatural power. And it's not just for the moment, but He promises you will have His life, His light and His power for all eternity in Heaven!

Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me" (John 14:6). If Jesus had come to us in this Computer Age, He might have phrased it, "You can access God through Me. I am your service provider. I am your interface to God. I am the one and only Connector there is between God and you."

"For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself a ransom for all" (1 Timothy 2:5-6).

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life" (John 3:16).

"But as many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His name" (John 1:12 KJV).

"And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand" (John 10:28).

All that you or your loved ones need to do to receive Jesus and plug into God's love, light and power for eternity is to pray a simple prayer from your heart asking for His help. "Jesus, I believe in You. Please come into my life. Forgive the wrong that I have done in life, and fill me with the love and power and eternal life You have promised to everyone that calls out to You. Amen."

Finding the Secret Well

A little story from the Bible helps illustrate the wonderful power Jesus has to change people's lives right where they are, whatever their situation. Sometime or other we all feel weak, empty, dry, hard and brittle within. We long for a drink of the cool refreshing living waters of hope, joy, and peace of mind.

In Palestine, about two thousand years ago, a woman came quietly one day to fetch water from the communal well. It happened to be a very famous well, called Jacob's well, after the patriarch who had dug it. The woman was a Samaritan, from the town of Sychar. From all appearances, her life had thus far been a failure. She had been married five times. Everyone in town knew her and had an opinion about her. She steeled herself against the gossip and yet more heartbreak by putting up a tough front. She was interested in God and spiritual things, but skeptical and confused by the different things she'd heard.

At the well, this troubled woman met a Stranger. She was shocked that He spoke directly to her, because He was a Jew, and Jewish customs did not allow Jews to have any dealings with Samaritans. The Man asked her to draw water for Him from the well. She was prepared to do so, but being a bold soul herself, she asked Him for an explanation. Why was He ignoring society's rules to talk to her?

The Man told her that if she knew who was asking her for this act of kindness, she would ask Him for water. He obviously had nothing to draw water with, so how could He get water for her? Was the Fellow just playing games with her or trying to flirt? She decided to ask Him some more questions. Soon she discovered that the Man she was talking to was Jesus, the promised Messiah, the One sent by God to save the world. The water He spoke of giving her was not the water of this world but the living, refreshing, inspiring water of God's Spirit. And the place God wanted people to worship Him was in their hearts and spirits.

After Jesus told the woman her past, the woman said to Him, "Sir, I perceive that You are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, and you Jews say that in Jerusalem is the place where one ought to worship."

Jesus said to her, "Woman, believe Me, the hour is coming when you will neither on this mountain, nor in Jerusalem, worship the Father. … But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth" (John 4:19-24).

We do not know how many children this woman had, if any, or what kind of a parent she was, but we do know that those few minutes by the well with Jesus completely turned this woman's life around. God suddenly became so close, so real, so personal, so present, so loving, and so easy to make a connection with. It was as simple as opening her heart to Jesus. The woman not only plugged into the power of God that day, but immediately set about getting her whole town plugged in. They may have thought she was a bit wild and crazy at first, but they listened to her and then they came to listen to Jesus and they also believed (John 4:28-30,39-42).

God is ready to begin a brand-new relationship with you right now today just as you are—and tomorrow He will continue to be right there, ready to take you even further. It is the miracle of His love. He loves to make all things new, including you. If you haven't already, please share this simple story and the prayer to receive Jesus with your loved ones and children. Let them also drink living water from the Fountain of eternal life, Jesus, and find in Him a Friend who will also be close and true.

Are All the Children In?
I think ofttimes as the night draws nigh,
Of an old house on the hill,
Of a yard all wide and blossom-starred
Where the children played at will.
And when the night at last came down,
Hushing the merry din,
Mother would look around and ask,
"Are all the children in?"
'Tis many and many a year since then,
And the old house on the hill
No longer echoes to childish feet,
And the yard is still, so still.
But I see it all as the shadows creep,
And though many the years have been,
Even now, I can hear my mother ask,
"Are all the children in?"
I wonder if, when the shadows fall
On the last short, earthly day,
When we say goodbye to the world outside,
All tired with our childish play,
When we step out into that Other Land
Where Mother so long has been,
Will we hear her ask, as we did of old, "Are all the children in?"
And I wonder, too, what the Lord will say,
To us older children of His.
Have we cared for the lambs? Have we showed them the fold?
A privilege joyful it is.
And I wonder, too, what our answers will be,
When His loving questions begin:
"Have you heeded My voice? Have you told of My love?
Have you brought My children in?"
—Author unknown

Step Two: Get Filled Up with the Holy Spirit

Parenting takes a lot of wisdom, patience, insight, and spiritual strength. When Jesus departed this earth for Heaven, He knew that "parenting" His movement would take great courage and spiritual power to accomplish. To help His disciples carry on, Jesus promised to send them a Comforter, the Holy Spirit. "John … baptized with water, but you shall be baptized with the Holy Spirit not many days from now [and] you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you" (Acts 1:5,8). Jesus was true to His word, and shortly after His ascension, hundreds of believers received a powerful infilling of the Holy Spirit.

Why do you, as a parent, need the Holy Spirit? Like salvation, the power and presence of the Holy Spirit working in one's life in its fullness is a tremendous spiritual gift from God. God's Holy Spirit helps you become a better parent because it spiritually empowers you and gives you more of God's own wisdom and understanding.

Solomon became wise by God's Spirit. Samson's great strength came from the Holy Spirit. And the Bible tells us that the Pharaoh of Egypt set Joseph over all the land because of the wisdom that the Spirit of God had given him (Genesis 41:38). Jesus promised His disciples that the Holy Spirit would teach them all things, and bring all things to their remembrance (John 14:26).

To be filled with the Holy Spirit, all you need to do is ask! (Luke 11:9-13). Just say a simple prayer like the following: "Dear Jesus, I know that I need more of Your love and power in my life, so please fill me with Your Holy Spirit right now. Help me to love others, to develop a closer relationship with You, to understand Your Word better, and put it into practice in my life. Please give me love, strength, and wisdom through Your Spirit filling me."

Step Three: Study God's Word

The Bible is a great parenting handbook, as evidenced by the "Bible Study on Childcare and Training" that you'll find at the end of this booklet. It also has the answers to so many fundamental questions in life—questions that all parents need answers to almost as soon as their children can talk: Where do we come from? How did we get here? Who is God? Why do people die? What happens to people when they die? Will I ever get to see God? What are angels? And many more.

Not only is God's Word a good source of answers to life's basic questions, it is also one way that God has chosen to help us learn to discern between right and wrong in our lives and the lives of our children, and to have the courage to follow the right, even when it's tough to do so.

It is also through reading and believing God's recorded Word that we gain the faith and strength to carry on through the trying times that we all as parents face at some time or another. "Faith comes by hearing … the Word of God" (Romans 10:17).

So it stands to reason that reading God's Word is one of the most important things you can do to grow in faith and learn about God. Reading, studying, memorizing, meditating upon, and then following the advice and counsel in God's Word will literally transform your life. As you teach your children to do the same, they will build a strong foundation of love and faith that will help them weather the storms of life they are certain to encounter when they get older.

In a world of rapid changes and sometimes fickle friends, children need and appreciate the constancy and stability offered by hearing God's Word read to them. You and they can find comfort in hearing God Himself promising that they can safely believe what He tells them. That even if everything else fails, His Word cannot and will not fail, and He will continue to care for them. "Heaven and earth will pass away, but My Words will by no means pass away" (Luke 21:33). With God's help and guidance from His Word, children gain confidence that they have a strong connection with the One who can help them make it safely through the maze of life.

God's Word contains many very encouraging promises that parents can hold onto. God's Word is like His contract, His agreement as your partner, so it's to your advantage to read what He has to say. After all, He is the only One who really does know everything there is to know about everything, especially raising the precious children He gave you.

God promises that as you seek His truth by drinking in His Word, you will become like a fruitful tree, planted by a fresh, clear, unending water supply (Psalm 1:2-3). As you drink in the living water of His Word, it will help you bear good fruit in the children you are raising. "The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life" (Proverbs 11:30). Pray for guidance as you read God's Word. As you study it, ask Him to speak to your heart, and show you how you can apply it to your personal situation and life, and in the upbringing of your children.

"The entrance of Your Words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple" (Psalm 119:130).

"When you roam, they [God's Words] will lead you; when you sleep, they will keep you; and when you awake, they will speak with you" (Proverbs 6:22).

Step Four: Talk to God

"Love, humility and prayer solve all problems."—David Brandt Berg

Let's face it: We all fail as parents sometimes. We make mistakes; we get frustrated, upset, and angry; we do not have the patience we need. It happens to everybody. But if, when we realize that we just can't handle a situation, we stop, pray, and humbly look to God for His help, then we can find solutions.

Make it a daily habit to take a break—or several throughout the day—to talk to God, if only for a few moments. Put the world on pause and stop and pray before things get too hectic or out of hand. When you feel the pressure mounting, quiet yourself and talk things out with Him. We love to be able to answer our children's questions and help them solve their problems, and God is the same way with us.

Don't try to sort out the problem yourself. Stop and get God's answers. Don't try to keep going until you explode and say or do things in haste that you will later regret. Take a few quiet moments to get refilled from the reservoir of love, peace, strength, and confidence that God opens up when you draw close to Him. Reading a few verses of Scripture or other inspirational writings can settle and lift your spirit during these quiet moments.

If possible, have your spouse, a friend, or an older child take care of the kids for a few moments—or longer if possible––while you recharge. But even if there's no one else around, you can still stop for a moment or two to shoot up a little prayer for help, and God can give you the strength and wisdom that you need to handle the situation on the spot.

Don't forget that your children also need the peace, inner strengthening, and reassurance that come through prayer. It can draw you closer together as a family too. Impart this habit to them by having special prayer time together. Morning, mealtime, and bedtime prayers are wonderful times to let your children share in the blessings that come through praying together. It can draw you closer together as a family, too.

Step Five: Listen to God

Radio and television are amazing inventions. Invisible waves fill the air around us with thousands of sights and sounds that we only get to see or hear when we use special electronic equipment that captures these signals and translates them for us. As amazing as these inventions are, the human being is even more incredible in his ability to communicate beyond the physical, with worlds of the spirit where our Creator dwells. The human spirit can reach out to things unseen, beyond our normal senses.

Most children are particularly sensitive to the spirit world. They see angels, talk to God, and fly away from this world in their dreams. They have an innocently simple and trusting faith in the world beyond. No wonder Jesus said that we need to become more like children to enter His kingdom.

Although sometimes a little more difficult for us than for children, we too can learn to listen to God for the answers we need and to hear the things He wants to tell us about the care of our children—or anything else we need help with, for that matter.

Fortunately, God doesn't expect us to face and figure out how to raise our children in this world, with all its challenges and problems, on our own! It's too much, too hard for us. We don't have the wisdom, the strength, or understanding, but God does and He wants to tell us just what we need to do if we will listen. Learning to listen to God can be a little like being in a crowded room or a noisy eating place where everyone is talking and your friend speaks to you but you don't hear her. Once you know she is talking to you, you give her your full attention and really tune in.

The cafeteria of life can get very confusing and noisy, and you might be tempted to say, "If only God would talk to me and just tell me what to do!" But the fact is that God is right there trying to get your attention and talk to you. His Spirit is at work on our hearts all the time, trying to lead us, trying to show us, trying to bring us to an understanding of the way that we should go. Once you realize this, it becomes much easier for you to stop, block out the world around you, and turn your heart to Him. If you get quiet and ask Him to speak and give you solutions and directions, He will answer. You'll then be able to hear His voice in your heart telling you what to do, or maybe whispering some words of encouragement and comfort that will give you the strength and faith you need.

If you are always hurrying around and fretting impatiently, you will never be able to focus your full attention—your eyes, your ears, your mind, your heart—on the Lord, for the solutions to your problems, the answers to your questions, the best decision for your situation.

"In quietness and confidence shall your strength be" (Isaiah 30:15). You are going to have to get quiet by yourself—somewhere, somehow, sometime—if you are going to hear from God. With most people, prayer is a one-way conversation—and they do all the talking. But prayer is not just speaking your piece, but letting God speak His, too!

You should hear from God every day! It doesn't have to be out loud; it doesn't have to be with an audible voice. It can just be in that "still small voice" (1 Kings 19:12) that you feel inside of you, sometimes not even words, just an impression that you have. God doesn't have to communicate in words; He can just give you a feeling or a picture or an idea.

God's Spirit is like a broadcasting station, broadcasting all the time. You just have to learn how to tune in. If you've got an open channel and tune in, the Lord will fill you—your mind, your heart, your ears, your eyes. You just have to have faith. Jesus speaks any time, anywhere, if you believe—any time you believe! So when you ask the Lord for an answer, expect an answer, and take the first thing that comes. If you really believe and ask the Lord, and you want to hear or see, you won't be disappointed. And that thing you see or hear with the eyes or ears of your spirit, that's from the Lord—and it will be such a comfort to you. Expect God to answer! Just open up your heart and let the sunshine in.—David Brandt Berg

Just as the tiniest turn of the wheel at the helm will set a great ship on a different course, so in life small changes in direction—especially as inspired by God—can set you and your children on a whole new and happier course in life. Following the right counsel and taking the right course of action at the right time distinguishes a person as wise (Proverbs 12:15; 23:19; Ecclesiastes 8:5). Listening to God can help make you a wiser parent.

God's voice of direction can come in many forms. He can speak to us as we read His Word, through it showing us the way to go. Sometimes He will speak to us in His still small voice while we are quiet in prayer, communing with His Spirit, praising Him, or calling upon Him for help. Sometimes He may speak to us through dreams or visions. Sometimes His voice comes through the godly counsel of a friend. Still other times we will hear His voice in our hearts or minds, giving us His advice or comfort.

It seems quite incredible to some that God Himself is very willing to communicate directly with each of us. Still, people everywhere are discovering that God very literally speaks to them, giving them instruction or words of encouragement, or reminding them of verses they have read from His Word, or in other ways—such as a strong intuition or tug of the heart—clearly, simply showing them just what to do. When we call out to God and ask Him for help or direction in our roles as parents and caretakers, He will give it. He promised, "Ask, and it will be given you; seek and you will find" (Matthew 7:7).

"In all your ways acknowledge Him [God], and He shall direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:6).

"When the Spirit of truth [the Holy Spirit] has come, He will guide you into all truth" (John 16:13).

"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' whenever you turn to the right hand or whenever you turn to the left" (Isaiah 30:21).

Step Six: Keep Thanking God for Everything

How happy it makes us when our children show their appreciation in a note, a little bouquet of flowers, an attempt at giving us breakfast in bed, a spontaneous kiss on the cheek, or the like. Expressing your thankfulness and appreciation to God is just as pleasing to Him and sets a very good example to our children. Showing God your thankfulness can actually lift and revitalize your own spirit as you do it, and it helps your children also appreciate God and others more.

The Bible says, "The joy of the Lord is my strength. You, O Lord, are the One who lifts up my head" (Nehemiah 8:10; Psalm 3:3). We parents sometimes need a lot of extra strength and someone to come along and "lift up our heads"—or our spirits—especially if things are going wrong with one of our children. At times like that, it takes a lot of faith to trust God in spite of what seems to be happening. To "know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28), to believe that God is still in control, to be sure that He loves you and will never leave you, to stay positive when sorely tested—all that takes real faith. The way to express faith is to thank God for everything, even seemingly bad things, knowing that He has a reason for it all.

And you'll find that as you keep praising and thanking Him, you'll lift right out of your discouragement and heaviness of heart.

"Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name" (Psalm 100:4).

Step Seven: Live in the Love of God

The shortest and simplest description of God in the Bible is found in 1 John 4:8: "God is love." God is love, and by inference all true love is a reflection of God. As parents, we know that our human love often falls way short of the mark. We are sometimes impatient, we lose our temper, and we may say things to our spouse or children that we wish we could just erase. We feel terrible. We know we are not perfect and do not have perfect love. The good news is that we don't have to go on operating only on our own limited love supply. God is happy to empower us with His own richer, deeper love that can transform even a bad situation into something good.

The next time you run out of love and are ready to explode, take action immediately to unplug from the anger and the upset. Put your emotions and angry thoughts on hold for a moment, pull back, and look up. Take a deep breath and ask God to give you His love and understanding. He can give you peace in the midst of what seems like a storm.

Like all the other wonderful things available from God, His love is free anytime, anywhere. You just have to stop and ask. It is a powerful, all-embracing, creative force that can transform our lives and how we feel and think about things in a moment. The apostle Paul describes some of the qualities of this love in 1 Corinthians 13: It is able to suffer long (be patient, enduring) and yet remain kind; it does not envy others or parade proudly about; it is not rude or selfish or antagonistic; it does not think evil of others or take pleasure in wickedness. This kind of love is able to believe more, hope more, and endure more, because it comes from faith and trust in God and from His Spirit of love. In short, it is the kind of love that cannot fail. That's exactly the kind of love a parent needs.

Much of the message Jesus preached focused on letting God's love work in our lives––learning to love God with our whole hearts, and our children and our neighbors as ourselves. The apostle John describes this godly, perfect love as follows:

"We have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. We love Him because He first loved us. If someone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also" (1 John 4:16, 19-21).

A Touch of Heaven Here and Now

God promises that nothing shall hurt or destroy in all His holy mountain (Isaiah 11:9). That's a description of Heaven, a place where we will find perfect peace. There will be no more cares or sorrows or pain or death, and God will wipe away all the tears from our eyes (Revelation 21:4; 7:17). Happiness will fill our lives forever. Sounds wonderful, doesn't it? But God doesn't want us to have to wait until we pass through Heaven's pearly gates to begin to enjoy such wonders. We can have a taste of that freedom, that deliverance from our problems, that joy, that place of love and peace right now. You and your children can have a touch of Heaven in your home, today. "The path of the just is like the shining sun, that shines ever brighter unto the perfect day" (Proverbs 4:18).

God knows we live in troubled times. He knows life is sometimes very difficult for us, and that it's especially difficult to try to raise children in a godly manner when so much around them in society seems to cry out the opposite. But the difficulties also shape and strengthen our character and draw us closer to God in our hour of need. And as we learn to reach out to Him with the hand of faith, He will ease our burdens and cause His love and light to fill our lives to overflowing.

As you look to the One who cares for you as His child, He'll keep you from faltering. As you do what you can to follow His counsel, God will bless the works of your hands, and He will bless your children. As you drink deeply of the Water of Life—God's Word—you will find a great refreshing to your soul. As you do your part to live close to Him, He will come and make your heart His home.

"If anyone loves Me [Jesus], he will keep My Word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him" (John 14:23).

"Because you are sons [of God], God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts" (Galatians 4:6).

"Blessed is every one who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways. When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table" (Psalm 128:1-3).

*

Many years ago, a farmer had an unusually fine crop of wheat. Just a few days before harvest, there was a terrible hail and windstorm. The entire crop was demolished.

After the storm was over, the farmer and his young son went out on the porch. The little boy looked at what was formerly the beautiful field of wheat, and then with tears in his eyes he looked up at his dad, expecting to hear words of despair. Instead, his father started to sing softly, "Rock of ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in Thee."

Years later, the son recounted the incident and ended by saying, "That was the greatest sermon I ever heard."

The farmer had lost a valuable grain crop, but who knows but that incident was a turning point in the boy's life? He had seen his father's faith in practice.—Author Unknown

*

I have seed to raise and I plough the field
And I plant my crops with care,
And I thank the Lord for the rain He sends
As I watch them growing there.
But I don't sit down with a book by day,
And let my crops run wild,
For crops won't grow by themselves, I know;
Is it different with a child?
—Edgar A. Guest

*

His little arms crept 'round my neck,
and then I heard him say,
Four simple words I can't forget,
four words that made me pray.
They turned a mirror on my soul,
on secrets no one knew,
They startled me, I hear them yet—
he said, "I'll be like you!"
—Herbert Parke

When Parents Don't Know All the Answers

Parents know they don't know all the answers. Still, our little ones look up to us with such hope and expectation. They believe in us. Our friends, coworkers, and our children's teachers may all consider us "good parents." But in our own hearts (and to our chagrin sometimes in public and before others) our weaknesses become apparent, often with the untimely assistance of our children, who often do or say the wrong thing at the wrong time, and our image of being the perfect parent is suddenly tarnished in front of everyone. However, we can't know what to do with our children on every occasion. We would like to appear to others as though we never make a mistake, but that's a pretty uncomfortable (and in truth, impossible) load to try to carry.

The secret is not to try to be smarter or better than everyone else, but rather to view your imperfections and inabilities as an asset, and use them as stepping stones. Look at some of the advantages of such weakness: Firstly, when you know you are weak and insufficient in yourself you are quicker to seek and accept God's help. King David testified: "This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles" (Psalm 34:6). The apostle Paul desperately cried out: "O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me…? I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Romans 7:24-25). "Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God" (2 Corinthians 3:5). When we are weak, then He is strong in us and for us (2 Corinthians 12:9). Dependence on God will provide you with strength and wisdom that you could never attain on your own, and will therefore make you more likely to succeed in the challenging journey of parenthood.

Secondly, weakness helps keep us humble. When we are humble, we are less judgmental of others and more loving and merciful with our children. We're also usually more open to the suggestions of friends and family, who, being a bit further removed from the trees, can sometimes discern the forest better than we can. "Blessed are the poor in spirit [the humble], for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven" (Matthew 5:3).

Thirdly, when you know you are weak, it is much easier to please God than when you are strong and proud and you feel self-sufficient. Weak and humble people know they need help; they need God and so call out to Him for the answers, and God promises to take extra good care of them.

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart—these, O God, You will not despise" (Psalm 51:17).

"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit" (Psalm 34:18). "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; but its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit" (Jeremiah 17:7-8).

By showing your children that you are weak and fallible and in need of God's help, you are actually setting a wonderful example to them, which can in turn help you develop a closer relationship with them. When a parent is proud, pushy, impatient and easily upset, children often dig in their heels and resist. It's like Aesop's fable of the contest between the sun and the north wind:

The sun and the wind once had a conversation, in which the boisterous and argumentative wind contended that he was the stronger of the two. The wise and kindly sun, sensing an argument in the making that could only result in ill will, tried to let it pass. The wind was unrelenting.

"I'll prove I am stronger!" said the wind. "Do you see the old man down there? I bet I can get his coat off of him quicker than you can!"

So the sun sighed and went behind a cloud, and the wind blew and blew until it was almost a tornado. But the harder it blew, the tighter the old man clutched his coat to him. Finally the wind gave up and calmed down.

Then the sun came out from behind the cloud and smiled kindly on the old man. After only a short while the man mopped his brow and pulled off his coat.

The sun had shown the wind that warmth and kindness was stronger than fury and force.

When you try too hard to force your children to do something you want them to do, they're likely to pull their cloak of resistance more tightly around themselves. But use the warm sunshine of love, humility, and honesty, and their lack of cooperation will turn to willing compliance. With just a little time, patience, warmth, and love, even the toughest nut will soon break open of its own accord and spring forth, grow, and blossom.

In view of the advantages of a humble attitude, don't let a few weaknesses hold you back or cause you to feel negatively about yourself. You can be your weak, helpless, human self and still be a great parent. One honest tear of humility, truthful acceptance of your weakness, and confession of your dependence on God can mean more to your child than all the parenting awards in the world.

Children are intimidated by life, too. There are plenty of things going on in an older child's life that his or her parents don't see or know about. Children often face fears and battles that for them are like matters of life and death. They need to see that you are not so different from them, and most of all, they need to see how you turn to the Lord for help with your weakness and problems.

Try to help your children open up to you about the things that bother them. Sometimes it just takes a warm hug, a look into their eyes, and a few words: "Is everything okay? Is there anything you want to tell me?"—And then be a good listener. You may not be able to solve their problems yourself. That's not the point. But you can pray with them and help them learn to ask God for His help. You may not be able to be with them 24 hours a day, especially as they get older, but He can.

The Family Garden
The family is a garden
With flowers sweet and fair.
The parents are the pruners
Of each child in their care.

God made the family garden,
Allowed each blossom to unfold.
He blessed the family garden,
With budding beauty to behold.

Love controls the pruning tool,
Used by parents every day.
Trust is the timeless tool
That guides a family in God's way.
—Wilma L. Shaffer

What to Do When You Feel Frazzled

There are going to be times in the day-to-day routine of parenting when you feel overwhelmed by situations and circumstances. The baby's crying, your eight-year-old won't do her homework, your teenager's stereo is shaking the house, your toddler didn't make it to the potty in time—and your dinner guests will be here any minute! You feel pushed to the brink.

Every parent faces days like this. You're not alone. And you're not alone in a greater sense: Jesus is right there with you. He understands, and He waits with encouragement and solutions. If you have the opportunity, talking with someone else––maybe your spouse or a friend––can help you see things differently, calm your spirit, and give you a chance to pray together for the Lord's help. You can even ask your children to pray with you. Their faith and simple prayers, even of your youngest, can be a wonderful encouragement.

Whatever you do, don't give up! Don't give in to feelings of frustration and discouragement. Shoot up a prayer and ask Jesus to give you power for the hour and grace for the space—and He will. Ask Him to help you see your children as He sees them, to see what they are going to become. He will help you view the situation optimistically and with hope. The outlook may be bleak, but the "uplook" (looking up to Jesus) is always bright.

Because children are a reflection of their parents, it's very easy to get discouraged and feel that you have failed when one or more of your children isn't doing well in some area. But remember they're also God's children, and they are a work in progress—just like you are. "It is God who works in you, both to will and to do for His good pleasure" (Philippians 2:13).

All He expects is that you try your best, give them your love, and leave the rest up to Him. Now that doesn't mean you should just throw up your hands in despair, let "God take care of it," and quit when the going gets rough. He probably intends for you to be part of His solution. You need to find out from Him what He wants you to do—and do it; then put the rest in His hands and let Him do what you can't do.

Don't Give Up
Are you frustrated, Mommy?
Are you tired, Dad?
Does no one appreciate
The tough day you've just had?

Is there no one near to thank you,
Or pat you on the back
For all the work you've done today,
In spite of all you lacked?

You wonder if you'll get ahead
And when you'll see the light.
Yet 'cause your children need you so,
You have to hold on tight!

'Cause if you'd ever just give up,
Why, who would see them through?
This one thought, I wot, just ought
To give new strength to you!

The Son of God was just a Man
With only mortal strength—
Yet how they pressed and drew from Him,
Compelled Him to such lengths!

With weary hands He touched and healed,
With weary lips He spake.
With weary feet He walked long ways.
—He did it for their sakes!

His life was surely not His own,
For He gave it all away
To those who pressed to touch, to hear
The Words He had to say.

O Lord, today help me to say
With smile and cheerful heart:
"It's not a sacrifice at all,
When called to do my part!"

And daily as I teach and train,
And little lives I mold,
I know my labors one day soon
Will yield one hundredfold!

Oh, what a tiny price to pay
For such a noble cause,
To teach their hearts to trust in God,
And keep His loving laws!

Frustrated Mom and tired Dad,
I sympathize with you.
But give your all and He'll give strength
And joy to see you through!
—Kay Spain, mother of ten

When All Is Said and Done—You Won!

One day before long, your children will be grown and gone. You'll be thankful then that you gave them what they needed when they were growing up. It wasn't easy, you sacrificed a lot, but it was worth it! Joy, a missionary and mother of a large family, put it this way:

I'm looking at motherhood from another perspective now. I am beyond the initial years of diaper changing and midnight feeds, past potty time and a hundred scraped knees. I'm a grandma and a mommy rolled into one. My youngest children are still with me, but my eldest are married and have begun having children of their own. One blessed thought I want to share with younger parents as they face what looks like an insurmountable mountain of parenting is simply this: It's worth it all!

I get a wonderful feeling looking at my children who are now young adults, because I see how the Lord has worked in their lives. It gives me peace and a fresh vision for the little ones still in my arms. I had the precious privilege of hearing my older children dedicating their lives to the Lord at a youth meeting. It was a moment that is generally reserved for Heaven. That made me realize that my rewards will not be limited to the little I have accomplished for the Lord, but that I will also be blessed for all that my children go on to do for Him.

So during those hours in the night while you are keeping watch over a sick child, smiling when you want to cry, singing as you pray for patience, wiping little noses while you dream of someday doing great things for God, just remember that you are. You will never regret one prayer, one song, one loving word. Each small act of love reaches out to them and touches them for eternity. After all the years of taking it all by faith, someday you—like me—will be blessed at seeing what they have become.

Bible Study on Childcare and Training

(Adapted from the book Discovering Truth: Bible Basics)

Teaching and training your children

Judges 13:8 Then Manoah prayed to the Lord, and said, O my Lord, please … teach us what we shall do for the child who will be born.

A. God's care of young children:

Matthew 18:10 Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that in Heaven their angels always see the face of My Father who is in Heaven.

B. Even if only one parent is a believer, the children are sanctified by God:

1 Corinthians 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.

C. Their early training will guide them all through life:

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

D. Give the care and training of your children priority:

3 John 4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.

E. If you neglect them for other things, you'll both suffer:

Proverbs 29:15 A child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

F. You should teach your children God's Word:

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

Deuteronomy 11:18-20 Therefore you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul. … You shall teach them to your children.

Isaiah 38:19b The father shall make known Your truth to the children.

Joel 1:3 Tell your children about it, let your children tell their children, and their children another generation.

John 21:15 Jesus said to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonah, Do you love Me more than these? He said to Him, Yes, Lord; You know that I love You. He said to him, Feed My lambs.

2 Timothy 3:15 And that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 78:1,6 Give ear, O My people, to My law; incline your ears to the Words of My mouth … that the generation to come might know them, the children who would be born, that they may arise and declare them to their children.

1 John 2:13 I write to you, fathers, because you have known Him who is from the beginning. I write to you, young men, because you have overcome the wicked one. I write to you, little children, because you have known the Father.

G. Teach your children to trust in God:

Psalm 22:9b You made me [King David] trust while on my mother's breasts.

Psalm 34:11 Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear [reverence] of the Lord.

Psalm 78:6-7 That the generation to come might know them [the Words of God] … that they may arise and declare them to their children: That they may set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments.

Acts 2:39 For the promise [of God] is to you and to your children.

H. Lead them to receive Jesus:

Mark 10:14 Jesus said, Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God.

Galatians 4:19 My little children, for whom I labor in birth again until Christ is formed in you.

1 John 2:12 I write to you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you for His name's sake

I. God's Word teaches them how to have eternal life:

John 5:39 Search the Scriptures; for in them … ye have eternal life: and these are they which testify of Me.

2 Timothy 3:15 From childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

J. Only God can teach life's most important lessons:

Psalm 25:5 Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; on You I wait all the day.

Proverbs 8:32-33 Now therefore, listen to me [wisdom, God's Spirit], my children, for blessed are those who keep my ways. Hear instruction and be wise, and do not disdain it.

Isaiah 54:13 All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children.

1 Corinthians 2:13 These things we also speak, not in words which man's wisdom teaches but which the Holy Spirit teaches, comparing spiritual things with spiritual.

K. Children worshiping with their parents:

Joshua 8:35 [Little ones listen to Bible reading with parents:] There was not a word of all that Moses had commanded which Joshua did not read before all the congregation of Israel, with the women, the little ones, and the strangers who were living among them.

2 Chronicles 20:13 [Children included in serious prayer meetings:] Now all Judah, with their little ones, their wives, and their children, stood before the Lord.

Joel 2:12,16 Now, therefore, says the Lord, Turn to Me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning. … Gather the people, sanctify the congregation, assemble the elders, gather the children and nursing babes; let the bridegroom go out from his chamber, and the bride from her dressing room.

Children's obedience and disobedience

A. Children are to obey their parents:

Proverbs 1:8 My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother.

Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.

B. Children are to honor and reverence their parents:

Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.

Leviticus 19:3 Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father.

Ephesians 6:2 Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise.

Proverbs 23:22 Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old.

Proverbs 20:20 Whoever curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in deep darkness.

C. The blessing of having obedient, wise children:

Proverbs 10:1 A wise son makes a glad father.

Proverbs 13:1 A wise son heeds his father's instruction.

Proverbs 23:15-16 My son, if your heart is wise, my heart will rejoice. … Yes, my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak right things.

Proverbs 23:24-25 The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise child will delight in him. Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her who bore you rejoice.

3 John 4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.

D. The grief of having disobedient, foolish (not obeying their parents and/or the Lord) children:

Proverbs 17:21 The father of a fool has no joy.

Proverbs 17:25 A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her who bore him.

Proverbs 19:13 A foolish son is the ruin of his father.

Proverbs 10:1b A foolish son is the grief of his mother.

Loving instruction balanced with firm discipline

A. Treat your children gently and in love:

Ephesians 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

1 Thessalonians 2:7 But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children.

Titus 2:4 Admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children.

B. Patience, mercy, and truth are the most effective:

1 Thessalonians 2:11 We exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children.

Romans 2:4 The goodness of God leads you to repentance.

Proverbs 16:6 KJV By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the Lord men depart from evil.

C. Each child is different; seek God how to train and discipline:

Judges 13:12 KJV How shall we order the child, and how shall we do unto him?

D. The Scriptural admonition to chastise naughty children:

Proverbs 13:24 He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

Proverbs 19:18 KJV Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13 Do not withhold correction from a child.

Proverbs 29:17 Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul.

E. Responsible Christians are to restrain their children:

1 Timothy 3:4 [A Christian leader must] rule his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence.

1 Timothy 3:12b Ruling their children and their own houses well.

Titus 1:6 KJV Having faithful children … not unruly.

(See also Galatians 4:1-2.)

F. When children are not corrected or restrained:

1 Samuel 3:13 [The Lord said to Samuel] I will judge his [Eli's] house forever for the iniquity which he knows, because his sons made themselves vile, and he did not restrain them (1 Samuel 2:22-25).

1 Kings 1:1,5-6: [Adonijah attempts to take David's throne:] Now King David was old, advanced in years. Then Adonijah the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, I will be king; and he prepared for himself chariots and horsemen, and fifty men to run before him. (And his father had not rebuked him at any time [when he was younger] by saying, Why have you done so?)

Proverbs 29:15 A child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

G. Such a lack of discipline means a lack of fearing God:

1 Samuel 2:29-30 Why do you kick at My sacrifice and My offering which I have commanded in My dwelling place, and honor your sons more than Me? … Those who honor Me I will honor, and those who despise Me shall be lightly esteemed. (See the reason in 1 Samuel 2:12-17.)

H. Even with right training, some children will go wrong:

1 Samuel 8:1,3 [Righteous Samuel's sons became corrupt and covetous:] Now it came to pass when Samuel was old that he made his sons judges over Israel. … But his sons did not walk in his ways; they turned aside after dishonest gain, took bribes, and perverted justice.

Mark 13:12-13 [In the Last Days, some children will betray their Christian parents.] (See also Matthew 24:10.)

(See also Proverbs 2:16-18.)

I. Partiality and favoritism cause problems:

Genesis 25:27-28 Isaac loved Esau [his oldest son] ... but Rebekah loved Jacob [and helped Jacob deceive his aged father Isaac––Genesis 27:1-18].

Genesis 37:3-4 Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age. Also he made him a tunic of many colors. But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peaceably to him.

The growing years

A. Be considerate of children's limitations:

Genesis 33:13-14 The children are weak. … I will lead on slowly at a pace which … [they] are able to endure.

B. Growing up and maturing:

Hebrews 5:14 But solid food [strong doctrine] belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.

C. If trained right, children will be a great blessing:

Psalm 127:4-5 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

Isaiah 8:18 Here am I and the children whom the Lord has given me! We are for signs and wonders in Israel from the Lord of hosts, who dwells in Mount Zion.

Matthew 18:5 Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.

(See also Mark 9:36-37.)

D. Children proclaiming God's praise:

Matthew 21:15-16 When the chief priests and scribes saw the wonderful things that He did, and the children crying out in the temple and saying, Hosanna to the Son of David! they were indignant and said to Him, Do You hear what these are saying? And Jesus said to them, Yes. Have you never read, Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants you have perfected praise?

Nehemiah 12:43 Also that day they offered great sacrifices, and rejoiced, for God had made them rejoice with great joy; the women and the children also rejoiced, so that the joy of Jerusalem was heard afar off.

Psalm 148:12-13 Both young men and maidens; old men and children. Let them praise the name of the Lord, for His name alone is exalted; His glory is above the earth and Heaven.

E. Becoming a teen, a young adult:

1 Corinthians 13:11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

Ephesians 4:14a We should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting.

1 Corinthians 14:20 Brethren, do not be children in understanding; however, in malice be babes, but in understanding be mature.

F. Teen years: A time of dedication and commitment:

2 Chronicles 34:1-7 [Josiah, when 16 years old, sought God in earnest, dedicated his life to Him, and zealously served Him.]

Ecclesiates 12:1 Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth.

1 Timothy 4:12 Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

About the Authors

Derek and Michelle Brookes are professional educators and writers, who have been happily married and working together for 28 years. After several years as successful teachers, they have spent the last two decades as Christian educators and educational consultants. Their lifelong ambition to provide quality care and education to all children has taken them to nearly every continent, and brought practical help and encouragement to many who face the great responsibility of caring for children.

Featured on www.spiritualibrary.com

Acknowledgments

Where quotations are not attributed, authorship could not be ascertained. Reasonable care has been taken to trace original ownership, and when necessary, obtain permission to reprint. If we have overlooked giving proper credit to anyone, please accept our apologies. Contact Aurora Production AG at aurora@auroraproduction.com, and corrections will be made prior to additional printings.
Unless otherwise indicated, all Bible quotations in this booklet are from the New King James Version, © 1982 Thomas Nelson, Inc.
Scriptures marked "KJV" are from the King James Version (Authorized Version).
Scriptures marked "NIV" are from the New International Version, © 1973 International Bible Society.

By Derek and Michelle Brookes

© Aurora Production AG, Switzerland.
All Rights Reserved.
www.auroraproduction.com.